Performance-driven parenting vs autonomy-based parenting

Perfectionism runs rampant in bright and quirky families, and at the root of it is fear of failure.

We love our kids so much and want the best for them, but sometimes we inadvertently communicate conditional love instead of loving our kids no matter what.

Dr. William Stixrud’s Self-Driven Child approach challenges the traditional, performance-driven parenting style by focusing on fostering unconditional love and self-confidence in kids. He explains that when we tie approval to achievements like grades or sports, kids can feel like they must earn our love.

Instead, expressing confidence in their ability to navigate challenges sends a powerful message: You are loved for who you are, not what you do. This builds trust and resilience, helping kids thrive in their unique way.

Take a listen.