Dr. Kristin Neff: Is Negative Self Talk Hindering Your Parenting?

Very few people talk about what it’s like for the parent when your child gets a diagnosis.

There can be fear, grieving a future vision of your child, and scrambling for solutions.

But there’s a way to navigate and ease the overwhelm and be the parent you want to be.

Self-compassion pioneer and fellow parent of a bright and quirky child, Dr. Kristin Neff, shares why it’s not what you’re facing that matters most, but rather, how much of an ally you can be to yourself.

Take a listen . . .

Now we'd love to hear from you. What's bubbling up for you after hearing this vlog? Let us know in the comments section below!



  1. Laura on March 4, 2021 at 8:38 am

    This was very cool and helpful, thank you!

  2. Raduca Kaplan on March 4, 2021 at 8:56 am

    Does Dr Neff explain how a parent can get to that state of self-compassion?
    It’s probably the hardest state to achieve and maintain. I totally agree that self-compassion is the key but I also know the road it takes to get there.
    I loved the message.
    Raduca Kaplan

    • Lauren+Hutchinson on March 4, 2021 at 8:42 pm

      Raduca – Yes! Dr. Neff gets much more detailed about how to cultivate self-compassion in the full talk. She also directs us to some exercises and resources on her site. What I took away from the talk is that it is a practice that gets stronger the more we practice it, and that there is a scientific basis to practicing self-compassion.
      -Lauren with the BQ Team

  3. Olti on March 4, 2021 at 9:03 am

    So simple and makes so much difference. Thank you!

  4. Kate Lynch on March 4, 2021 at 9:32 am

    This is EVERYTHING.

  5. Lauren H on March 4, 2021 at 11:02 am

    Laura and Kate – We’re so glad you enjoyed this snippet from Dr. Neff’s upcoming talk! The whole talk is amazing and goes into so much more depth about the enormous benefit of self-compassion as a parent of a neurodiverse child. It’s not just a good idea; Dr. Neff has proven a scientific basis behind it. Can’t wait for you to see that next week!
    -Lauren with the BQ Team

  6. Amanda McKinley on March 4, 2021 at 12:35 pm

    This is so right on. I struggle with shaming myself often – I should have extended grace to my child in that situation, why did I lose it, he is going to be traumatized because of me. I truly think I would react less to difficult moments if I was more gentle with my own internal struggle and didn’t condemn myself. So, so helpful. I look forward to hearing the whole talk next week!

    • Lauren H on March 4, 2021 at 8:48 pm

      Amanda, I have felt the same way about my own sometimes harsh internal dialogue and how that affects the compassion I can extend to others, especially my kids. Or other times I marvel at the compassion I can show others but not direct towards myself. I love the saying that when you know better, you do better. Here’s to all of us doing better after seeing Dr. Neff’s talk next week!
      Lauren with the BQ Team

  7. Amanda Barnum on March 6, 2021 at 12:31 am

    Thank you, I too have struggled with feelings of disappointment that I didn’t have the child I expected and then felt ashamed of feeling that way. But I love my little boy so much and I wouldn’t trade him for anything. I just needed more confidence and faith in myself as a mother, and to keep taking care of myself too.

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