It can be worrisome when a child isn't engaging academically. Our instinct might tell us to start reasoning with a child or push them to learn. Mona Delahooke, PhD, author of the excellent book, Beyond Behaviors, counsels us otherwise. We need to discern if a child is in 'safe brain' or survival brain, and take action accordingly. Take a listen.


Now we'd love to hear from you. What's bubbling up for you after hearing this vlog? Let us know in the comments section below!



  1. Amy Browne on October 7, 2020 at 10:18 am

    This was a good reminder for me as a Mom that is a worrier myself. We have had the expected rough patches with our Aspie 16yo daughter with not wanting to be on camera as required by teachers for attendance. We have a great doctor Eric Sletten at Sletten wellness that made a plan with her to take control with supplements, diet and also a device Alpha Stim for acute panic attack prevention. On the low tech side we adopted a rescue kitten that puts her focus on caring and receiving love and fuzzy snuggles.

  2. Sharon on October 7, 2020 at 11:54 am

    Teary. Thank you. I am an experienced Educational Therapist Professional and I am so happy to hear what you said!!

  3. Patt Carter on October 7, 2020 at 12:59 pm

    This was inspiring and great to hear. Thank you for sharing this much needed information and brain break.

  4. Fran on October 7, 2020 at 1:29 pm

    Thank you. Very helpful.

  5. Jennifer on October 7, 2020 at 2:15 pm

    Thank you so helpful! My 5 yr old started online kindergarten like a champ. However after two weeks the school made drastic changes to the staff and schedule with no notice and he completely shut down. Tons of behaviors and he’s not engaging. We’ve had two of the worst days of our life. I soooo needed to hear this today and will be buying the book!

  6. Leslie Swibes on October 7, 2020 at 2:21 pm

    My 13 year old son has a more of a PDA profile and he’s having a hard time….he’s not typical ASD b/c he resists things that are too exact and scheduled…or the same every day. He craves variety. Makes everything more complicated. He’s very very bright 2e and very social but he’s struggling getting all his work done. His intent is to get it done and I can see the effort and desire but he’s battling his brain and gets distracted and hours go by and done nothing. He’s dropped from all A’s to C’s and D’s. The school doesn’t see how all the extra busy work is counterproductive for him. His test and quiz scores are good as mostly a’s and b’s but he’s missing so much work and can’t keep up sadly. sigh. He also is very disorganized, never knows what’s due and when and what needs to be done first or what order like oldest first. He’s just not able to do this on his own. Last year, he stayed after school with his teacher and he kept him on track and helped with all of this. NOt available this year with Covid and b/c his matured and his behavior is better they just think all is good. He’s so smart and he really needs help and shouldn’t be getting d’s! So frustrating.

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