Misbehavior vs. Stress Behavior, with Stuart Shanker, DPhil

Misbehavior and stress behavior in a bright and quirky child are often confused. Now more than ever, it's critical we address stress behavior compassionately and effectively. Self-regulation champion Dr. Stuart Shanker shares priceless wisdom and two magic questions parents and teachers can ask that will transform any behavior episode.


The tools and insights mentioned in this vlog are geared for bright and quirky kids, who typically are very bright and also have learning, social, emotional and/or behavioral challenges.

Is your child bright and quirky? Click here to take the quiz.



  1. Patricia A Barry on September 5, 2020 at 1:13 pm

    Thank-you esp for the final advice of having folks ask: WhY??

  2. Lamis on September 5, 2020 at 3:26 pm

    The conception of misbehavior for any child , 2e or not, must follow the exact the same principles : why, why now, why here, what’s THiS child trying to communicate, and what tools can we give THIS child to use (instead of the behavior) so that we can understand the message sooner next time. Often teachers, principles and even parents don’t have the bandwidth or time or energy to understand every possible facet or variation of neurodevelopment. So I feel that these principles are most easily accessible to our 2e kids when they’re applied to all kids.

  3. Christine Steinmann on September 5, 2020 at 5:06 pm

    This is EXACTLY why we, as parents, wanted the teacher to communicate – when was this happening, what was it related to, etc. So we could find out why.
    We ALSO wanted to discuss it with our 8 yo son – preferably not just at the end of each term when it was pointless. So that we could get HIS view and get HIM thinking as to why.

    We CAN’T change anything if we – and our child – doesn’t understand WHY.

    Unfortunately, all teachers won’t CARE why since not all teachers ‘believe’. Those teachers need to get out of education. I am HOPING that as ‘inclusive education’ becomes more accepted, that teaching PROGRAMS will make student teachers aware that it is PART OF TEACHING, not an extra burden they are being asked to do in addition to their role, but a fundamental and integral and EXPECTED part of their role as teachers.

    It isn’t a privilege for our children to be understood and taught well…. it is a right.


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