When kids struggle socially, it can be difficult to know how to respond as a parent. Do we correct them? What do we do with our own internal reactions? Also, do we sometimes expect more of kids struggling in this area than their neurotypical peers? Barry Prizant, PhD, author of Uniquely Human, recently named the #1 book on autism of all time (!), has some great ideas. Take a listen.

 

PS Dr. Barry just released an amazing new podcast, Uniquely Human! Be sure to download it wherever you listen to podcasts. You can also check it out here.

Now we'd love to hear from you. What's bubbling up for you after hearing this vlog? Let us know in the comments section below!

 

5 Comments

  1. Marie T Peck on October 28, 2020 at 12:48 pm

    Interesting. The problem I have with my 13 year old is that he has never been diagnosed autistic however he has been diagnosed as ‘gifted’. So academically intelligent, emotionally very immature.
    He says very hurtful things to his younger siblings and will never care if it hurts them to the core once he can prove that his point his right.
    This breaks my heart and is younger siblings. The believe he hates them and has no love for them. Please can you give me tips on how to cope and make this better for everyone involved.

    • Debbie Steinberg Kuntz, LMFT on October 28, 2020 at 12:57 pm

      Hi Marie, Kids can benefit from social skills training, whether or not they meet criteria for a diagnosis. Some programs we’ve heard good things about: Social Thinking, PEERS program and Charisma Youth Virtual Social Training. Also, lots of parent-child conversation about the importance of our homes being safe havens is important. Thanks, Debbie

  2. Erika M on October 28, 2020 at 3:17 pm

    This is so helpful. Over the summer I watched my daughter try to join a “closed group” of kids. They were completely ignoring her while she tried for several minutes to say something interesting so they would notice her. I was cringing and wondering if I should either save her from the situation by calling her to me or if I should have talked to her about it afterwards. I ended up kind of talking to her about it afterwards but I felt she didn’t want to discuss it so I dropped it and made a note to myself to work on it.

  3. Emily on December 7, 2020 at 9:54 am

    Hi,

    I have an almost 9 year old gifted/ADD daughter, who constantly exhibits behavior that is off putting. She basically has no friends at this point and it’s so saddening. She does not understand why. Reading her stories, or role playing, etc has no impact. The same with social skills training. None of that works because it’s is difficult for her to apply these concepts in real life at the time. She’s immature socially/emotionally, as gifted kids often are. And as she grows, the social dynamic of girls becomes more complicated. Since she’s already burned off so many kids, how to I help her? She is never mean, but does and says things that are totally annoying, inappropriate, immature, etc. Thank you!

    • Lauren+Hutchinson on December 8, 2020 at 8:39 pm

      Hi Emily,
      It’s so common for our gifted kid’s asynchrony show up socially. Then you add the overlay of impulsivity and lack of filter that comes with ADD, and it can cause social missteps and alienation. Most kids will benefit from increased self awareness and skillbuilding, and that may be easier to access when the brain’s metacognitive functioning comes more on line around age 9-11, so don’t give up! Most kids enjoy “fun” social skills classes based on an interest or activity like improv, Minecraft, or creative arts. You might check out and see what’s available in your area or if there are any online options available. Outschool might have some options too.
      -Lauren with the BQ Team

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