Have you ever wondered what your child's inner voice tells them about themselves and the world around them? Michelle Garcia Winner, founder of the Social Thinking Methodology, talks about the power of this voice and how we can help our child notice if that voice is positive or empower it if it's defeatist. What about the voice inside your own head? Great food for thought as we navigate these challenging times.


To learn more about Michelle Garcia Winner's work, visit https://www.socialthinking.com/.

Now we'd love to hear from you. What's bubbling up for you after hearing this vlog? Let us know in the comments section below!


  1. Frances on November 25, 2020 at 12:02 pm

    Wonderful! I shall pass it on to my daughter-in-law, and to an adult friend who has some defeatist self-talk. Thank you!

    • Lauren Hutchinson on November 25, 2020 at 10:21 pm

      So glad you found this helpful, Frances. Defeatist self-talk is unfortunately not only for children! This clip made me check my own thinking too. How great would it have been to have gotten these skills when we were kids? 😊
      Warm regards,
      Lauren with the BQ Team

  2. Diane+DeSloover on November 25, 2020 at 12:28 pm

    Michelle’s insight was helpful for me today. I am homeschooling an autistic 13 year old who is very smart but periodically becomes frustrated with math. Her negative inner voice is a bullhorn taking over her mind and ramping her nervous system up to high alert. I know we need to work on developing strategies to diminish the power of her negative voice but right now we are still at the point where we’ve already lost the battle the moment it begins. She is already too agitated to use problem solving skills. We can have great discussions apart from challenging times. She knows about calming herself – just can’t access that in difficult times yet. The lifelong journey of social learning is an appropriate thought for me today.

    • Lauren Hutchinson on November 25, 2020 at 10:18 pm

      Thanks for your comments, Diane. I totally understand the cycle of watching our child’s defeatist self-talk morph into a meltdown and then shut down mode. For my son it was when he had to write a paper. He was in such a deep state of dread before even starting that his frustration tolerance was already depleted. Taking lots of short breaks to get up, move, breathe, and practice encouraging self talk helped a bit. It’s a work in progress for sure!
      Best to you,
      -Lauren with the BQ Team

  3. Sharon on November 25, 2020 at 5:22 pm

    Great insight. This provides perspective and concreteness to similar things I have been trying to teach my kiddos. I tell my kids that no one can take their true thoughts, feelings, and opinions away from them. (But it is what my kids do or how they handle those inner thoughts – what they show in their outside personality – that they need to be careful.) Michelle’s blurb here expands that and asks, “How can we access our self confidence?” Then she talks about organizing those inner thoughts – kind of like which of the thoughts are productive and which are unproductive. That gives me a little something to work with.
    When my kids were a younger and said something negative about themselves, I would make them create a list of say 25 positive things about themselves. Both my kids are teens now. I have no idea looking back if that was helpful or not. But it’s certainly could not be hurtful.

  4. Lauren Hutchinson on November 25, 2020 at 9:53 pm

    Sharon, I can’t help but believe you were planting seeds for the future emphasizing those strengths and positives like you did. I teach the kids at my school to look at their thinking with the question, “Is that thought helpful or hurtful?” It all seems to start with self-awareness.
    -Lauren with the BQ Team

Leave a Comment