For many of us, the quarantine has meant a lot of family togetherness, sometimes with escalating tensions. Dr. Laura Markham shares ways to not only refill positive relationship tanks in your family, but also how to fill your own cup during stressful times. Parental burnout is real.

 

Now we'd love to hear from you. What's bubbling up for you after hearing this vlog? Let us know in the comments section below!

 

14 Comments

  1. Sue on August 6, 2020 at 9:44 am

    Tears! My DS14 refused to carry his waveboard the two minutes to the lake because of some issue he has about carrying things in public. Social anxiety and leaving the house are huge deals for him and he has come so far. But today, I ended up leaving him at home out of my frustration as I just had no patience left (usually very supportive). On the way there with my other son, I see a neighborhood kid, 8, biking on his own to the beach. It just hits home how different our realities are. Grieving and crying. Just tired today 🙁

    • Lauren Hutchinson on August 6, 2020 at 10:45 am

      Sue, sending you hugs and strength. Some days can be so hard with our B&Q kiddos and we do our best on any given day with the energy we have. Take care of yourself. You may also check out Yale’s SPACE program for parents to help with their child’s anxiety. Not carrying the waveboard, but providing empathy and encouragement may be the right kind of support instead. You may have been supportive of your child without knowing it.
      Warmly,
      Lauren with the B&Q Team

      • Cari Alexander on August 6, 2020 at 1:12 pm

        Very, very validating and helpful. Thank you.



  2. Veneroni Francoise on August 6, 2020 at 10:10 am

    Great suggestions

  3. Miriam on August 6, 2020 at 10:28 am

    Honoring our grief is so hard.

    • Dianna on August 6, 2020 at 2:35 pm

      This was really helpful to hear, I feel the little snowballs of life have become so huge it’s starting to take me down the hill with it. I need to try harder with connection for sure. Thanks for this

    • Annie on August 6, 2020 at 4:59 pm

      Thank you for featuring Laura Markham and sharing this clip. I’m wondering if you have any additional resources on processing this grief. I’m beginning to notice that is an area in which I need to do some work. Thank you for the ongoing support of your community!

    • BQ Admin on August 7, 2020 at 6:00 pm

      Miriam, I so agree. I think Dr. Laura Markham was so spot on in the importance of honoring that grief – putting words to it, feeling it, crying for it, and giving ourselves that self-compassion acknowledging our strength through it. It’s after that we can begin to see past it and find some peace with “what is.” I think that’s the hard but beautiful acceptance of loving our child for exactly who they are.
      Warmly,
      Lauren with the B&Q Team

  4. Dianna on August 6, 2020 at 2:40 pm

    This was very helpful to hear. I feel the little snowballs of life have turned into a huge one taking me down the hill with it, I definitely need more connection with my kids.

  5. Lee on August 6, 2020 at 8:10 pm

    It’s such an isolating feeling to have a child with such struggles. Our 12-yo son suffers anxiety with school. To point he missed all of his last year pretty much. We are in process of getting assessments and treatment but even getting him there is a huge struggle for us because he is adamant it makes it worse. Oh dear! He is not a kid who doesn’t have friends or interests. But this school thing has us by the whats-its. He’s a wonderful kid. But some days….while I don’t wish these troubles on anybody, I’m a bit heartened to know we aren’t alone. It’s a tough slog many days…

    • BQ Admin on August 7, 2020 at 6:03 pm

      Lee, you are definitely not alone! I know so many parents here at B&Q relate to the “some days…” part. That’s all we can do is continue to take baby steps – sometimes forwards and other days backwards – and keep loving our kids through it all. Take care of yourself!
      Warmly,
      Lauren with the B&Q Team

  6. Teresa on August 7, 2020 at 12:51 am

    Im in tears. In total parental burnout right now. This video couldnt have come with better timing. We yesterday booked a weekend spa with my husband to have some time for ourselves we are soooo tired. I personally have to redo my list of what I love about him… our bond is really bad right now…so right about mourning the child you did not get is hard.

    • BQ Admin on August 7, 2020 at 6:10 pm

      Teresa, I am so glad Dr. Laura’s message had the impact it did. You are not alone in this burnout and I’m glad you are able to sneak away, even for a weekend to refill your cup. I love Dr. Laura’s idea of making that list of all the positives for the child we DO have. I know personally it’s so much easier sometimes to dwell on the losses and deficits, but there ARE positive qualities and experiences there if we are open to it. Refilling that cup helps to make that possible to see. Take care!
      Warmly,
      Lauren with the B&Q Team

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