Perfectionism can be a joy killer, but there's a way to take control over it. Listen as "The Gifted Guru" Lisa Van Gemert shares her very personal story of the costs of perfectionism and how she tames it with a powerful strategy she uses almost every day.

To learn more about Lisa Van Gemert's work, visit

Now we'd love to hear from you. What's bubbling up for you after hearing this vlog? Let us know in the comments section below!


  1. Beverly Pell on December 11, 2020 at 4:07 am

    Loved this clip, especially the end where she says, “Nothing at school is a 5.” I couldn’t agree more because that would cause so much anxiety and fear for not measuring up (to the teacher’s expectation.) I know it did for me. Her story about constantly erasing her writing on papers also resonated. When I reached high school I constantly rewrote my papers in ink–before the invention of erasable ink–and I remember throwing away countless numbers of paper even with 1/2-3/4 of the page filled; but when making a mistake…maybe even in the last sentence after writing 300 words, I would crumple it up and throw it on the ground. So.Many.Tears. I also found it interesting that my perfectionism could be interfering with making (and keeping) friends. My goals and expectations have always been high, and I never thought that my perfectionistic tendencies could be influencing my relationships with my family. This chat was very eye-opening. Thank you!

    • Lauren+Hutchinson on December 11, 2020 at 7:30 pm

      Hi Beverly,
      I am so glad you could resonate with Lisa Van Gemert’s words. I wish I had her words in my ears when I was in school, because I also related to everything needing to be a 5! We are grateful for Lisa’s honesty and wisdom, and we are grateful for you in sharing your own story about perfectionistic tendencies. Wishing you more joy!
      -Lauren with the BQ team

  2. M on December 11, 2020 at 11:48 am

    Lots to think about. Wow. “Nothing at school is a five.” Very helpful talk.

  3. Rachel Watt on December 11, 2020 at 1:15 pm

    “Nothing at school is a 5” Yes! That’s so validating, Thank you. I am going to use that quote every day 🙂

  4. eRiN yUeN, llmsw on December 12, 2020 at 2:55 am

    Wow – School is never a 5. My grad school advisors tried to relay this to me in a roundabout way but hearing it summed up like that really hits home. I need to get this down so that I can help my daughter who is currently suffering from perfectionism and OCD tendencies. I have to ask – On a side note – both of your bookshelves look immaculate. When I’ve read decorating tips from interior designers about color-coordinating your bookshelves, I always figured this was advice meant for non-readers who could order color-coordinated books from specialty stores as opposed to avid readers who already owned multiple bookshelves jam-packed with books. Clearly, the books on your shelves were purchased for reading and not decorating, but how did you manage to coordinate your books by color without creating a completely meaningless order where it’s impossible to find anything? It looks beautiful but is it user-friendly? Thanks.

Leave a Comment